Jokes

Chistes

Games

Free Items

Comments

104 votes.

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an 'F' in arithmetic.

 "Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6.' "

"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?"

"That's what I said!"

**************************************************************

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says,

"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!"

Miss Rogers: "All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob!"

 ***************************************************************

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.

He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.

" Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

 ****************************************************************

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with,

"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"

**************************************************************

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.

One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs."

"Very good, William," said the teacher.

"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther

"Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher.

Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and repidation, the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns."

The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?"

"It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."